IGNORANCE OR ARROGANCE?
Too often as time goes on in the course of my career I hear a phrase
muttered. Each time my blood boils just enough to dish out a verbal
scalding. Usually my ever increasing tolerance prevents me from
this(and local laws!). The offenders almost always seem to be a wannabe
chef proclaiming they are "Self Taught". So after much thought I have
come to the conclusion its either arrogance or ignorance that allows an
individual to mutter those words. Or they could actually just be
stupid. If you are laughing right now, kudos! If you are inflamed,
teach yourself something knew and leave the rest of us alone! We are
tired of it. I am just stating the obvious. You will have some that
will be polite and give a neutral response to your new found plight at
being offended by this article. Too bad. Get over yourself even if it requires using an airliner!
Why is it so awful to learn from someone else? Oh the absolute
humiliation at just the thought of it! If you don't have formal
training so what! Many of my fellow classmates with formal training
were and are completely incompetent. Formal training is not absolutely
necessary. Not having any is not something to be embarrassed or
ashamed about. Well, no one in the food service business is self
taught. No one. When young we are fed by others. We see food items
in stores, on TV, hear about them on the radio, see & read about
them in newspapers. We pass by and eat at various food service
businesses run by others. We are served by friends and family and even
strangers & business acquaintances. We see others preparing and
serving all sorts of food stuffs. Even at ball parks & concerts!
ALL OF THIS TAKES PLACE BEFORE CHEF GENIUS PICKS UP A KNIFE! There is
an extreme majority of us do not catch our fish, kill our livestock,
grow our food or manufacture & process what is available by others.
Of us that do, 99% of them can handle one, maybe two of those
examples. That leaves an awful lot of undiscovered territory fellow
Trekkies don't you think? Last time I saw imitation Chef(in an
interview) proclaim the she was self taught. She promptly showed a
complete lack of knife handling skills by not being able to slice a loaf
of bread! I was with another promoter who saw this and was just as
shocked(and laughing like myself). Even worse the self taught personal
chef judges voted her the best that night. Talk about the Lemming
effect! Can't someone tell them to at least say they have learned from
many sources over the course of their career? Proclaiming you are self
taught and wearing it like a badge should give anyone near you the legal
right to slap them with fish fillets.
I am completely indebted to the chefs that took the time, showed
me patience, genuine care, and kicked me in the ass when needed (usually
daily) to help get my career in the right direction. I could never
have developed as I have as a chef without their help. Layer on that 2+
years of formal culinary training and meat cutting! Oh yeah there is
that sanitation course thrown in there for certification. I always made
a point of showing my staff and co-workers anything I knew how to do,
properly and as thoroughly as possible. Same as I do with my cooking
programs now. All through my career I learned from others.
Dishwashers, servers, managers, proprietors, salesmen, the competition,
inspectors, cooks, valets, bartenders you name it someone in one of
those positions at some point, repeatedly over decades showed me
something! By standards, I raced up the ladder during the early part of
my career as I grasped most everything handed to me, and mastered my
methods in very rapid order. There are always individuals in given
fields that excel for one or more reasons exclusively to that
individual. Athletes, artists, musicians, doctors, engineers, and
yes--chefs. Take a look at that list or make another of your own.
EVERY ONE involves the influence of others to excel or at least become
competent in achieving basic requirements indicative of a professional. Self
taught. Ignorance, definitely, as the "perp" prevents their career
from further growth. Arrogance absolutely. Insecurity? I think that
is the binding agent. The unseen factor so to speak. Almost every time
I hear that phrase its from some self proclaimed personal chef. Almost
every time the individual couldn't stir a toilet if you helped by
flushing it for them. Why is it so hard to give credit where credit is
truly due? For me, Stuart Johnson, Jose Robles, Leo Kessler, Michelle
Saragueta, Frank Lopez, Andy Weber, Chris Kotte, George Karczas is a
good start for dishing out credit.
How's this for opening Pandora's box? Here in the
States, we seem to be dumbing down when it comes to history in general.
Not having a grasp of history leads us all into repeating the mistakes
of the past. Books are being re-written, key actual facts omitted when
retelling events of years gone by. The youth of Japan mostly has no
knowledge of the Rape of Nanking because their history books make no
mention of it. Here in the States in Texas (and a few other states)
there is a push to rewrite evolution and make it creationism to be
taught in public schools.
As we are, above ground and breathing the
current generation of chefs is it not incumbent on us to keep the
historical evolution of food preparation, manufacture, storage,
distribution, nutrition, production, influences, etc before the general
public where/when practicable? I can only speak for myself. Among
the programs I currently conduct are classes involving meals consumed
here in the States during The Great Depression, The American Civil War,
Chuck Wagon Meals from the Bozeman Trail and I am adding a Medieval
Cooking Class for summer youth programs. Within Health Department
guidelines I try to emulate our predecessors attempts to feed
themselves. I find the general public has great interest and a
surprising lack of initial understanding of these particular time
periods I have broached. As my classes evolve and I become more familiar
and learned on the particular topics it becomes a bit more clear how
important this is, in general. If we don't know where we came from, how
do we know where we are going? How do we really get there? Just a
thought.......
THE CANCER OF EXAGGERATION.
As a Food Mercenary occasionally I find myself in need of waging war.
Many years back I began to make efforts to snuff out the cancer
of exaggeration amongst my staff and management. Way too many times the
simple comment goes unnoticed because of repetition and I guess to a
degree a general indifference. Initially, I corrected any individual
making a gross exaggeration when communicating. Common place example: A
server returns to the kitchen with an entree claiming it is freezing
cold and the customer cannot eat it as a result. We all know it is not
frozen. But what just happened? The server insulted the entire kitchen
staff and any fellow servers involved with bringing the meal to the
table, management, ownership, and completely ruined their credibility
with the staff. Now they are unhappy and ready to drop a hot spoon in
the server's apron to send a message!:)
Or, the cook claims
they have been waiting all day for a server to pick up their table. The
restaurant has been open an hour, this cannot be the case.
I would
literally force the staff to eat the words, any of them including
managers & owners. I then had them then explain what they really
needed or what was actually in need of fixing. Regardless how busy they
claimed to be. After going a few rounds with a few of the hard core
exaggerators everyone eventually fell in line, and, after being put in a
position of realizing how much exaggeration really does distract
everyone from producing efficiently, they killed it off themselves. All
of the sections of the restaurant staff benefited with better
communication. Servers would now ask for an entree to be heated a bit
more, Cooks would ask that tables leave sooner to prevent back-ups in
the pickup area. Way less tension was the result.
It was not easy.
The first few times I was met with an obstinate attitude by some. But,
having certain influences affecting me directly like growing up (still
debated by my family members to this day) a South Sider in Chicago,
quality drugs during my formative rock & roll youth & several
concussions on the freestyle tour the staff soon found I was waaaay more
obstinate than they were:) Some viewed what I was doing as unnecessary.
But each time I stayed calm and clear, "Tell me what you really need
and it will be done, do not exaggerate to me". When the message sunk in,
the end result was supreme confidence for both front & back of the
house staffing with each other. It was a bit difficult, but well worth
it.
"What is Your Specialty?" - and other questionable questions.This is such an annoying question. Its 99.9% not a willful act by the person asking. Its a product of short sighted answers by others in food service that set the person up to ask a pointless question. If I had one specialty I would not be much of a chef. One thing done well qualifies no one to call themselves chef. And no, I do not have a favorite food or dish. There are too many great foods and dishes to even make that argument legitimate in my world. My next least favorite question is "Where are you a chef?" My response is always the same: "Everywhere I go". As I am not active in the restaurant world anymore sometimes people have this irrational notion that I accordingly lost all my knowledge and skill sets and can no longer be a chef. WTF! Regardless where I am or when I am there, I am still and always will be a CHEF! A real Chef. Old school values with new age skill sets & attitude. Yes - I Got Game!
What should I call you? "ANYTHING BUT STICKY, ITCHY OR OVERPAID WILL BE OK WITH ME!"
While on the freestyle jet ski tour many on the circuit called me Chef, because I was the only chef on the circuit, anywhere on the planet. It was easy for riders unfamiliar with me to remember me, and it was their choice, not mine. I was good with the reasoning behind it and it was never intended with malice. In my kitchens, I preferred my staff call me Michael. That is my name, not CHEF! If they called me chef it was their choice, never my request or want. That poor choice of tradition was not born to respect the chef. It was the chef making sure other staff members cowed down to them . By doing this the Chef established distance and rank from the rest of the staff. What happened to leading by example? Many times I have heard tales of staff members unable to address a chef until spoken to. Why can't I ever meet these nut balls when I have a few spare tomatoes with me?
We need to highlight cool chefs and discard the screaming arrogant schmucks. For years, whenever I yelled it was directed to a human. Had I known to yell at my cookware I would have done that and been famous long ago. Or, I would still be locked up and sedated. That actually has an odd appeal on some days.
Since you brought up the subject of schmucks............................
I have no need, ever, to be IRON CHEF, Top Chef, Master Chef, Grand Pooba Chef Immortal or any other attention starved title. If I absolutely had to have an adjective attached to the word chef to describe me, I would request it be "THE COOL CHEF". I would be good with that. Make sure that is spelled with a "C" not an "F". Seeyabye!__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________When will an honest attempt take place to ban aluminum cookware in this county?
Aluminum: Great for airframes and cars, terrible to cook with
or store food in. As a 19 year old student at the Washburne Trade
School in 1976 I was told this: Don't scrap the sides of the sauce pan
with your whip when making a cream sauce as it will turn the sauce
gray. WTF! Are you kidding me? Why would you use anything like that
to cook with? EVER?!! Aluminum is soft and each use of such a pan
removes a layer of metal into the food prepared with it. Alzheimer
victims usually have significant trace amounts of aluminum lodged in
areas of their brain. Bottling companies over the past two decades
continue to start lining their aluminum beverage cans with a film of
plastic for reasons varying from protecting the flavor to keeping it
colder longer. REALLY? One more time, WTF!
Do the words class action
law suit mean anything to the suits on retainer? Nowhere on any GNC
chart is the need for Aluminum Supplements. If there was they would be
selling it long ago and everyone would be accusing Barry Bonds of taking it.
My day of reckoning on this subject
manifested when I opened La Grillade. I made the switch to stainless
steel cookware and never looked back. That was in 1983. Many other
countries have already made this move into law. Why does it seem we
(In the USA) are again late to the party? As we are professional chefs
and responsible to a reasonable degree for the customers welfare while
serving them should this very real health menace continue to be
ignored? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The Food Mercenary's TV Appearance Tips.
Over the course of the last near 20 years I have learned a few fast
and hard truths when dealing with publicity. Let me start with
Televised media. Call first then FAX your idea with the name of
the person you contacted. This puts it in the hands of a staff member
immediately. Emailing ideas is a great way to never be heard from
again. Stations get bombed with emails. Yours may be filtered out as
spam and never reach its intended destination. Have an interesting idea
to present. Interesting to someone else you don't know. Not only
interesting to YOU! If you cannot meet this basic criteria, do not
bother. Send in ideas only intermittently. Don't wear out your welcome. Over exposure is sometimes worse than no exposure.
First,
there is an 8 second rule. Be very mindful of this in advance. The
average person at home will switch stations in 8 seconds after
encountering anything the feel they do not want to be bothered with.
This means YOU! Make SURE you are completely presentable, hair,
make-up, attire are all in fine order. Your chef jacket should not look
like an accordion. Do not wear anything that presents you in a poor
light. Nothing frayed, faded or stained, anywhere (HIGH DEFINITION
SCREENS in homes show everything including nose hair!) Choose your
wardrobe smartly. Lose the tall paper hat and medals. Both are pompous
and present distance between you and the audience at home. Be
approachable by starting with your appearance. Arrive early, and be
prepared for ANYTHING! Like going on the air earlier than pre-arranged,
longer or shorter time slots. Lose any semblance of an attitude even
if things go wrong. You only get one chance for a first impression. If
you make a mistake laugh it off and move on. Think before you talk.
Don't move your lips without purpose. Speak clearly and concisely.
Don't fidget with anything, keep your presentation area clear, clean and
organized at all times. Use nice cookware, nothing beat-up. Likewise with utensils or your cutting board or service ware. be smart and strategically locate brand names if needed/possible on your presentation area (Seasoning labels, etc)
ANSWER the question asked of you. Answers need be short &
sweet. tell a short funny story or antidote only if it is actually
funny! Not just to you! Go over in general, bullet points with the
interviewer just before airtime if practicable. Even give them a few
short, clear, easy to fire off questions to make them look sharper and
more informed. This will in turn make you look sharper. They are not
experts in your field. Do not assume they are. Bring back ups of
everything including wardrobe. Bring ONLY what you actually need. Pre
portion everything in a ready to use condition so shorten prep time
before air time. Drink a warm liquid to keep your vocal chords in best
shape possible. Wear your logo somewhere on you or on your work surface
if permissible. Don't play the fool by plugging anything not relevant
(or repeatedly) making a nice piece into an awkward moment everyone
remembers. Know what those ground rules are before you even arrive for
the shot. If you are new to the game, practice at least once what you
are going to do so your timing is smoother. Ask for equipment details
if you are doing an in studio or on location shot you are not familiar
with. Prepare for travel delays so you don't blow it by assuming.
Check weather, and traffic news to make sure you are not surprised with
no way to solve your new found problem. Can't mention this enough- NO
ATTITUDE ABOUT ANYTHING. The studio will refer to you as not feeling
well and chop or cut your airtime if they deem fit. Bring extra stuff
for the staff and interviewers. Schmooze baby schmooze! Line up your
camera angles for your own comfort level. Know where they are so the
cameraman can get good views & close-ups when needed. get plenty of
sleep the night before. Hydrate-drink liquids just like you would
before a work-out. Listen to some up-tempo tunes on the way there. Get
your blood pumping and have some fun. One more time, HAVE FUN! I like
a few slices of Joe Satriani myself:). Laughter is a great weapon in the arsenal of communication. My approach to this has garnered hundreds of appearances without need of any publicity agent.____________________________________________________________________________________________________
How Well Do You Know Your Steaks?
I am posed this question on a regular basis: How do I order/prepare my steak (beef)?
Answer: Medium well.
To the aficionado and some self proclaimed experts they will pronounce me brain dead.
Pronouncing me brain dead is my wife's job/passion, and not open to application submission.
Proclamations such as those serve to announce an unfortunate ignorance
on the subject. Consuming beef in particular, cooked less than medium
well by any means is the less preferred temperature on all levels. When
beef is served rare or medium rare, the cholesterol levels are way
higher as the meat has not been subjected to heat long enough to render
the majority of the fat content out of it. Regardless of how lean it
may be this rule will always apply. Not because its my opinion, but
because it a physical fact.
Next, the longer the meat is cooked, the more the muscle fibers are
broken done, making digestion much easier. Also, the protein content
skyrockets the longer the meat is cooked when comparing it to underdone
temperatures. Take a good look at eastern European cultures in general.
Traditionally they cook their beef to death by most standards. A bit
much for my liking. Point is, as a general fact, they suffer way fewer
digestive and lower tract problems than we do here in the states caused
by beef consumption. This is exacerbated by the consumption of underdone
meats here.
A common rebuttal is well done meat is dry, tough, or burned when served
or ordered as such in a restaurant. Well, if I order meat at that
temperature, it should be none of the above. Given it is a choice or
prime graded cut, a properly selected cut, and well applied cooking
mechanics a bad meal should not be the case. Apart from less applied
variables like a marinade usually these are the three most important
influences
When dining out if you get any flak from wait staff or kitchen personnel
about ordering meats medium well or well done it is a glaring sign of a
general bad attitude and rude behavior. This is an extension of
management's general disposition. If amateur hour persists and the
kitchen staff cops an attitude, burns the meat and sends it out , it
should be sent back and hell raised with the manager. There is no
reason to take that kind of abuse(which it is). If the cooks/chef are
incapable/unwilling to preparing the steak well done they are in need of
replacement. Cooking meat well done does not mean it is automatically
tough, dry, or burned. Offering those excuses to a table as a reason
for not fulfilling the customer request is unprofessional and cheap.
The reasons for those results almost always lay at the feet of the
person preparing the meal. In some cases inferior cuts of meat can lend
poor results. Even then, if the cook or chef has good knowledge of
food preparation this can be avoided by altering preparation methods, or
NOT BUYING CHEAP MEAT and using that reason as an excuse for poor
results on the plate! This would also include what some chefs think is
cool: using double veined strip steaks where they don't belong, like
mixed in with the rest of the strip steaks and feigning ignorance when
caught.
This actually happened to me at MY WEDDING! The banquet manager
actually looked at my plate and had no idea what a double veined strip
steak was, or how to figure out what one looked like even after I went
through it step by step at that most inopportune time. Normally letting
it go is the lesser of two evils, but at that point, I had already
prepared and delivered to the banquet hall for our menu THE SOUP, SALAD
DRESSING, Porcini Demi Glace, Hand Made Ice Creams, Fresh Herbed Butters
for the vegetables and the WEDDING CAKE & SAUCE! I even gave them
pre-assigned ladles and scoops per item to prevent portioning mistakes.
Maybe I should have gotten to the hall a little earlier and helped
serve the damn meal! What a slacker I have turned out to be!
__
Well, I thought the caveman reference I make in the "How Rouxed Are You?" rant was for
comedic relief. Seems I was on to something by coincidence. When
cavemen - man kind's ancestors and sometimes referred to as my in laws
began cooking and eating their meat by applying fire-heat to it an
amazing thing took place. Because of the increased protein content from
cooking, their brains became healthier, larger, more complex and the
start of complex thoughts-problem solving and the beginnings of
primitive culture began as a direct result of this dramatic change in
their diet.
So slow thinkers of the world this is your last chance to get on board with reality-Rare-medium rare meat is not good for you!
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
How Rouxed can you get?
When I first started cooking, I found out the reality of my
profession, circa 1976. The instructors at the Washburne Trade School,
one of only 2 choices to attend in the country at the time, had a few
issues. The 1st phase teacher was young, sharp, and green. The
following 4 instructors were smart, well traveled, well schooled, but
already behind the real world cooking curve that was incubating here in
Chicago. Had I implemented the thought process behind the methods
shown to me then, I would have been fired from my regular jobs I held
in that span. I was trained on the job in the idea of French Nouvelle
Cuisine(pure, natural, healthy cooking), in 1976 by some of the finest
young chefs Chicago had going at the time. Which, by the way were very
few to begin with. One of those lines in the sand was the use of a
roux to thicken, anything really. NONE of the chefs I worked for even
allowed a roux to be made in the restaurants they ran. This is a good
thing. Here is why:
A roux will break when enough heat is applied for a long enough
period of time (like during service in a steam table). A roux will
break if not properly made. Right there, two great reasons not to ever
use a roux. But lets continue. The combination of flour and
oil/butter is extremely hard for your body to digest. Not a bad reason
to lose a roux either. Also, using a roux prevents you from tasting
the ingredients of anything you thicken with a roux, clearly. The
combination of flour & oil paste clogs the pores of your tongue.
This is a natural impediment to tasting anything else in the same dish
or sauce. If you have any doubts on this issue, take a small, very,
very small amount of roux and rub it on your tongue. Then taste
something. Clean your pallet and do it again without rubbing a roux on
your tongue. End of example, end of argument.
Now there will be a few die hard slow learners screaming its
essential to Creole cooking. It is not. Many moons ago before we were
alive the settlers that established trading posts in the delta(Dutch,
Spanish, French, English) had a choice to survive. Either cook with
swamp water, or salt water from the sea. There were no other options,
Ice Mountain did not deliver bottled water then. Of course they chose
swamp water. They had just as much common sense as us(probably more).
But who wants to eat anything that tastes like swamp water? So how do
you mask this awful flavor embedded into the latest kill in the stew?
1st, how about picking some of these hot peppers that grow all over the
place and dump them in? Then maybe, thicken the cauldron with, A
ROUX! Why? BECAUSE it helped kill the flavor of the swamp water! How
hard is this to figure out?
Far as I can tell, we now have bottled water and filtration plants
that remove the need to use Swamp water to cook with! "But its always
done like this! Its tradition!" There was a tradition of cavemen
eating their freshly killed beast by pulling off the limbs and chewing
on it raw in the cave they sat in. Then, came a day when another
caveman suggested that they toss the beast in this new thing called
FIRE. I'll bet any money the elder cavemen screamed that its always
chewed raw like this, its tradition dammit! That's about the time the
clubs started swinging.
Then what to do? How do I thicken my soup? Try using the best
method, puree. Or reductions, emulsions, cornstarch, potato starch,
tapioca flour, or the pricey and bitter after taste of arrow root.
Now, if you want to argue that you like the FLAVOR a roux adds to a
recipe, that's a matter of personal taste, go for it. If you want to
argue that a roux is a necessary or relevant thickening method, refer
to the caveman episode, and make sure you are on the receiving end of a
club. There have been entire 1 hour episodes wasted on the merits of
using rouxes on the Food Channel and Bravo. I do mean wasted.
In my entire career, I never once allowed a roux to be used for any
reason in any kitchen I was in charge of, ever. The last time I made a
roux was in 1976 at the Washburne Trade School. I had to in order to
pass the 1st phase. Otherwise, I would have not done it. For the
record, the end result was correct. The result was, I ended making rouxes forever that day.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Some advice on screening your next employer (and trade school) in the food service industry.
Visit
each school personally and get a tour and meet the
instructors. Each school
will have assets and issues. You should go to the one you feel like
you will
LEARN from. The best advice I can give is go to the one that is the
least offensive with the tall paper hat attitude:) Are there
government subsides available to the program you are interested in?
What are the class schedules? What about Transportation and travel
time? Is there room for a full or part time job in you life to
coincide with the culinary programs you are interested in? Sometimes
the testosterone can get deep in some school faculties.
Caterers
are a good way to get exposed to a
variety of food but the cooking techniques can be suspect and the
hours can be very inconsistent, especially with this economy. A hotel
could be a good choice, keep in mind many are union run and seniority
rules, not job performance. Sometimes a country club can be a good
choice, especially if the hire is in the off season, after Labor Day.
Country Clubs are political beasts and can change dramatically from
year to year when the board changes. Free standing independent
restaurants have no general rules. They need to be taken on a case by
case basis. Food chains can be productive and a great deal of
organizational skills can be learned, flexibility will not be one of
them. Consistency should be one of them.
Here are some questions you need to ask (during an interview) before taking
any job. I have used these same questions
and
the look of surprise on the face of the interviewer is always worth the
effort. if the interviewer gets defensive, run for the door!
If
they appreciate your questions and become more
personally/professionally involved with the time they are spending with
you, HUGE BONUS!
1. Is the establishment in good credit standing and are they current paying their bills in a timely fashion?
How can you rely on a paycheck when the food bills are unpaid? Is the facility well kept?
2. Who do they do business with? Get names and call those companies and get business references
on how they conduct themselves, making sure bills are current. Also ask if they have many special requests to make
up for deliveries that are short items they need but failed to order. This is a great indicator of how
organized the chef is.
3. Ask what is more annoying, someone who is 5 minutes late regularly or someone who does not ask
questions. Not asking questions better be the answer.
4. Ask to SEE the first aid kit in the kitchen. This will tell you if
the chef takes care of the staff. It should be clean, organized and
well stocked.
5. Ask to SEE the chef's cookbook collection. If the chef has many, this is an issue. He will not be much of a
teacher. If they have one that they write for that business, HUGE PLUS.
If they are handed down through corporate chain of command, find the exit and use it. Your learning curve will be limited.
6. Ask for a tour of the facility at some point before you make a
decision. Be aware of messy dish rooms, odors in coolers, iced up
freezers.
All bad indicators of how the kitchen is functioning.
7. Ask how long the dishwasher, line cook, sous chef have been there and if they were hired for the position
or were promoted and did the chef do the promoting?
8. How long has the chef been there, the General Manager/ front of house manager and how long have they
been together?
9. Ask about ALL monetary concerns to you.
Overtime - Is it part of the deal, if so how often is it available?
Schedule flexibility - Do shifts and days off rotate?
Meals - Are they included? Do not Assume.
Vacation - Ask for details.
Health Benefits - Do they even exist?
Uniforms - Does the company issue them or is it your problem? AND ask if towels are given out for
cleaning up and how many are given? This is an excellent indicator to financial stability as it is one of the
very first things trimmed when the budget is bad.
When are the pay periods, when do they begin and end, and when does the actual pay day follow?
Are there any deductions other than taxes that are taken from you wages? If so, what and how much?
10. What type of system is in place for disciplinary actions? How does it work?
11. Ask the chef what ticks them off and gets them upset regarding individual behavior in their kitchen?
12. Ask the chef if they drink, smoke, drink coffee often. This will give you a good idea how well balanced
their PALATE is and in turn give you an idea if they know how things actually do need to taste.
No to all of those queries is a good thing. A used bottle of hot sauce or salt shaker on their desk is not good.
13. Ask the chef about their cooking background and what they did at the last few jobs they had, type of
food, average cost of a menu item, size of staff, length of time there, who trained them and did they go
to a culinary program or internal business apprenticeship?
14. Ask the chef what techniques they use to thicken sauces and soups. If they love roux's walk out the door
you will learn antiquated cooking approaches and lag behind the real world as a general rule.
16. Ask the chef if they make and create their own pastries or have a pastry operation within that they
oversee. This is a huge plus if they do. Well trained sharp chefs create and have a command of pastries
and baking methods.
17. Ask them if any foods come in pre-portioned or prepared, if so, what are some of them?
Good answers: Appetizers, pastries, fish steaks & fillets,
steaks, other cuts of meat and poultry. In some banquet &
catering situations this can be expanded into some sauces, dips, dressings, pre-cut vegetables & fruits.
Bad answers: Soups, pre-seasoned rice blends, potato dishes (au-gratin, double baked, etc), sauces
(alfredo, pesto, marinara, chili) prepared entrees like stuffed fish & chicken, lasagna, meatballs to name
a few offenders.
18. Ask the chef what kind of canned vegetables they have on hand.
Good answers - tomato products, water chestnuts, re fried beans, garbanzo beans, kidney beans
artichokes or hearts of palm, salsify, roasted peppers, truffles.
Great answer - Nothing other than tomato products (which are actually a fruit but no one sees them as
such)
BAD ANSWERS- all potatoes, corn, peas, asparagus, green beans, carrots, bean sprouts, and like choices.
19. Ask the chef what kind of music they listen to (and groups)and what they do for recreation to relax.
This will tell you a lot about their personality and how compatible you are with them.
20 Ask the chef if you need to bring your own tools, and is there a changing area for you to get in and out of
uniform. Also ask where the staff eats their meals, and how long do they get for their meal?
21. Never ask for a cigarette break. Never ask about drinking at work or after a shift.
The company has no need to subsidize your bad habit. This is a sure and fast way to be shown the door.
22. Ask about when job reviews take place, and what is entailed so you can better prepare yourself.
23. Ask who is in charge when the chef is not there, know the chain of command at least several links down
the chain.
24 When going through he kitchen, check out how well organized and clean the cooks are at their stations,
whether they are happy and laughing with each other or serious, crabby & sullen.
They will reflect the way the chef runs the kitchen like a mirror. Also watch to see how the servers and
kitchen staff interact. Look for cooperation, genuine smiles, snide low voiced remarks, terse body
movements indicating repressed anger at the other staff (like shoving, dropping, moving items in a
tense unneeded manner, glaring, stiff unnatural postures, lack of eye contact, abrupt sentences or
exaggerating explanations are all indicators of underlying tensions that are the managers responsibility to
keep defused.
25. Ask to spend a day on YOUR time in the kitchen before you make any agreement to work for ANYBODY.
This may not be policy for hotels and some chains, but most all other venues should be approachable on
the idea. Now you can see what is going on "behind the scenes" so to speak and feel out a comfort
level with the company you are approaching.
26. If you are going to a trade school to enhance your career, ask what the company can do to make the
work load between the two manageable for you and them. In particular, a flexible schedule if possible.
27. Is there a radio in the kitchen? If so: is it blaring, broadcasting in a foreign language, music that irritates
you, politics that are not agreeable to you, is it changed between stations, do they listen to sports, news,
is it kept in an area where only one person hears it, like the chef? Make sure you have a comfort level
with any of this as it will not change for you.
28 Ask a few questions about some menu items you may be familiar with. Ask if they have prepared or
presented them in other ways before. If you hear the words "This is how we always do it" or "This is how
its always been done", take pause. This can be an indicator regarding flexibility in general. Flexibility and
adaptability is key in the food industry. Many a failed business do not know the meaning of flexibility and
many of them are headed there.
29. Make sure your responsibilities are clearly defined. The best kitchens are the ones run where the words
"Its not my job" are outlawed. This fosters a very real team effort and is almost always a very healthy
work place.
30. Look for the seasoning rack-shelve. It should not be near a heat source like ovens or burners. There
should be few if any blended seasonings of any type. The containers should be free of food smears
(an indicator the staff has poor sanitation habits) and the larger the variety of spices the more likely the
chef actually knows how to use them. This is a very good thing.
31. Do not be afraid to ask prospective employers if THEY have been arrested or fired in the past. If so,
Explain:)
And finally, if you are answering an ad, did it mention having a sense
of humor? If yes, put that location at the top of your to do list.
That is a very healthy, welcome breath of fresh air. I always listed a
sense of humor as a must have quality in my ads.
As time has passed I
see it crop up more and more often. Not enough, but its getting better.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
DEVALUING THE CHEF.
Somewhere along the way in the last few years, any knucklehead that can make his uncles favorite beer can chicken or rice a roni wienie beanie casserole is a chef. Any dope wearing a tall paper hat can assume he is now a chef. Any brainwashed newly graduated student is now the end all for cuisine as we know it.
As for TV chefs, lets get this straight. ANY EDUCATED COOK can take a bag of groceries and make a few dishes out of the contents. That does not make you a TOP CHEF or any CHEF. If you can make a dinner for four for some family in a suburb or urban area on a daily basis, it does not make you a chef. AND, using the word personal in front of CHEF will not justify your argument. Its personal all right. Its personal when I see so many individuals take as many short cuts as possible to attain a goal/or standing, that takes dedication and hard work to attain. An achievement that takes many talented hard working dedicated professionals much sweat and sacrifice to become. It is too often made out to be easy to do, which it is not. Not if you are any good that is.
What I learned, and believe the word chef means is a reference to an individual who can, at least competently execute or have command of food costing, menu planning, first aid, kitchen design, creating menu concepts, creating specials, payroll control, teaching skills, food sanitation, contract negotiation knowledge, interviewing skills, equipment maintenance knowledge, staff scheduling, basic knowledge of ventilation, fire prevention, knowledge of wines, beer, alcohol, menu design, marketing, customer service, baking, pastries, sauces, garde manger, breakfast menus, lunch menus, dinner menus, meat cutting, fish filleting, utensil selection & purchase, inventory control, portion control, storeroom organization, kitchen organization, food production, food storage, nutrition, account management, supports the community, has catering organizational skills, has knowledge and command of multiple cuisines, command of all basic cooking methods and techniques, has command of seasoning and spice combination's and applications, computer literacy, an eye for detail, an open ear, a kind heart, a sense of humor, loyalty to his staff, always looks out for the welfare of his employees, business and customers, does not play politics and never chooses sides before he hears both sides of the story.
In my book, if you can do the above list anywhere from good to better than average, the word chef probably applies to you. If you can handle multiple cuisines, and themes like fine dining, casual, fast food, ethnic, banquet, catering, restaurant, hotel, country club, bistro, cafe, bakery, and even cafeteria we are getting somewhere. If you've opened and or designed multiple food service operations, kudos.
The first chef I worked for was a major league dope as it turned out. I was lucky in that I worked for a family owned restaurant where everything was made in house. Even the meat was cut start to finish in the restaurant. As time went on I became more of a personal clean up boy to this slob than the prep cook I was hired to be. I quit. I had no respect for the man, and gave no notice. He told me I did not have the chops to make it in this business, and should find gainful work as something else. I responded that I would not forget that line anytime soon. Some years later I was overhauling a hotel kitchen in Chicago's southwestern suburbs as a consulting chef. I had an ad in the local paper for a sous chef (2nd in charge) for the newly organized kitchen. Lo and behold, guess who came to dinner. or at least to fill out an application. Yep, it was John, the first chef I worked for. He never knew I was in the kitchen looking at his application as he waited in the dining room. The manager had accepted the application initially and brought it to me. I had two choices as I saw it. Go out and meet him and let the situation alone crush him. Or, send the manager back out to him informing him the position was filled earlier in the day and that we would keep his application on file. I chose the latter of the two, because its still a great story:)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Another Family Oriented Holiday, Easter a.k.a. Who Laid This Egg?
I
have been witness to an absolutely hilarious (ongoing) event across
the street from my house. If you have seen any Laurel & Hardy
movies, Al Bundy, or 3 Stooges (Curly only-I'm a purist) shorts where
they attempt to build something or fix something, then you have a clear
understanding of what I am witnessing. 3 generations (all male) of
Greek neighbors
attempting to build an outdoor spit to roast a pig for Greek Easter.
It is
sooo good I was actually eating my dinner standing at the counter in my
kitchen watching through the window because I didn't want to miss
anything. My cheeks and ribs are literally sore from laughing. I am
sure I heard "How come da sproocket doesn't vit in de vidget? You can't
do dis until you do dat!"
I
can't
offer to help (because I'll be sucked into the vortex of
family insanity) and I'll give myself away quickly by not
keeping that stupid grin (inherited) off my mug. Besides, why ruin a
good show? I can't wait to see the ending! (yes, if one of them
catches fire or loses a toe I'll call 911, or at least offer the advice
- Rub some dirt on that!) But I do think I heard one of them say "Quit
whining, its only your ear". That was right after a pair of shoes
ended up glued to the stairs, or before the car they were unloading
rolled into the street. I admit I was woozy from oxygen deprivation
from laughing so the order of events may be off. The meter really goes
off the charts when the women in the family pile out of the house once
each hour and start clucking. Yes, nothing says Easter more clearly
than a a good hen pecking at the hands of your wife or in-law. A real
treat when it happens in multiple languages.
After
three days there
are 2 pipes connected, a partial hole dug, several holes filled and the
shoes are still glued to the stairs. The pile of parts gets
larger with each trip to Home Depot. The instruction sheets are really
manhandled at this point. You would swear that they were from the
civil war with all the wear and tear they have suffered. My bet is
that by the time Greek
Easter comes around next week carry out will be looking really good.
My favorite is when they turn the building directions 90 degrees to get
a better look at what they don't understand. This usually continues
about as much as the spin on a roulette wheel until it gets taken away
by
another member of the committee. I have seen more arms waving and hand
gestures than an entire carrier crew landing jets during battle. In a
way, there is some pity I feel, as by the end of each day as night sets
in, they have worn themselves out yelling at each other, cutting pipes
too short, digging holes in the wrong place and bandaging the self
inflicted minor wounds. There was even an extra trip for gas, caused
by the numerous trips for, ...parts?
But,
since the project has started, their
collection of power tools has expanded dramatically. I now know where
to borrow an air compressor and bench saw. Yes, the air compressor has
me at a loss as well. But I think they are in a rather optimistic
spirit after all this. I have yet to see the nail gun fired at
anyone. If God has a sense of humor, there will be a lightning storm
right about the time they figure out how to connect the metal frame.
Really, a lightning strike is no big deal, a good salve will grow hair back. The burnt hair smell goes away after a day or two.
The last few years my neighbors had built plywood-plastic sheet
"structures" that
earned them multiple tickets from the village. No, I didn't call the village.
The entertainment value is way too good for that. They are friends.
If you can't relish in your friends self inflicted mayhem, who then?
Family? Nope, too easy as they are always around, especially on the
Holidays. Funny how family
show up to ruin the festivities each year, like clockwork. Some keep
hanging around, like yellow toenails. Not lethal, but annoying and
something you need to see only once to figure out you don't want it
anymore. When
Uncle Bob plays Ole Susanna with his armpit, the charm wears off after
you hit the age of 6.
Day 4 dawns anew. They seem to be sleeping in today. Blood loss has a way of wearing down the stamina.
I have yet to see them
using the compass as on day one, or that sextant on day two. They
still look strong. This is good. That means this adventure will
continue for a few more days. But I have noticed today they no longer
said "Good Morning". Instead it was lines like "Don't turn your back
on me" and Why are you still here?" Grandpa offered this gem" Keep the
power tools away from the kid, he's a bleeder". Amidst the hammering and swearing this morning, I heard the grandfather answer his wife's question "Where should we hide the eggs?" I can't print the response, but the youngest wasn't amused when he saw gramps pointing his way. The eldest son I think should be more careful. He did not question grandpa last time he went to Home Depot and came back with a bag of lime and a shovel.
Today there was a layer of frost on everything from an overnight chill. I guess the youngest didn't dry his hands(or his aim has not developed in the bathroom) when he left the house, he has been holding the same pipe for an hour. He's been finding it difficult to open car doors, among other tasks. I am pretty sure the body shop can cover the scratches. And I am sure they can replace the mirror, what's the fuss? I think one of them was thirsty late yesterday. The hose was running all night. The wood floated down the street, where someone ran over some of it. The village issued some more tickets and announced there was funding for some new playground equipment. The holes are filled again, and the two pipes that were actually straight are now looking like the flag staffs of a sunk warship. I am tempted to play taps over my stereo system for them. But in retrospect, I now feel its probably safer to go tiger slapping at the zoo. The score board reads: the youngest is limping, and has salve all over his hands. Grandpa is still pulling his depends out of his ass after the eldest gave him a weggie that would be envious in any locker room, the eldest son is missing several clumps of hair(one is still drifting in the wind, suspended from the tailgate of the suv) and their dog has not stopped barking since the project to build the pyramids began. Oh yeah, Grandpa is still yet to remove the heel from his skull where grandma clocked him with her shoe. I did not hear what he said before she connected but it must have been good. Although the consolation prize was hearing what he said while spinning to the ground after impact. I am pretty sure it was words to the effect "when I wake up I'll get you".
My wife made a mistake when walking our dog. She asked the eldest son if he had a new tattoo, pointing to the back of his head. Grandpa chirped in "Yep, its fresh, he got it 10 minutes ago. When I said duck he thought I was ordering lunch and stood up to answer. A lotta good that college education does ya now! Still seeing double smart guy?" Then she asked about the shoes on the steps. Not good. All three started takes pills moments later. If washing them down with Jack Daniels is an indicator, I think they are done today. DONE LIKE TOAST!
The mammoth undertaking culminated late in the evening under the glow of lanterns and fresh contusions. They are still limping, reek of Tiger Balm and are missing eyebrows,
fingernails, a few teeth, and the shoes are still glued to the stairs. I do think they will make nice planters. I must admit, I am both saddened and proud. Proud because through the cold weather, long hours, verbal abuse, self inflicted wounds, and occasional cheap shot, the project is complete! Sad, because its a TOOL SHED! All that for a box? Are you kidding me? Didn't any of them own a Lego set when they were a kid? Though the idea was tabled that there may be a duel purpose for the shed. It may also be a holiday smoke house. If so, I have started squares(like a football game) where bets can be placed. I say the kid forgets to remove the gas can for the mower first time they fire it up. And, the garden hose will be coiled and hanging inside. Should I mention to one of them that they may need a vent? Why spoil a surprise ending! Probably by design with the intention of locking the victim inside once its fired up. I fell for that trick when I was only 32. I chewed my way out. Live and learn I say.
And if you are wondering, the answer is yes, I did drugs during my formative years.
What's your family's excuse?
What’s that smart guy? I have seen the result and returned to tell the tale!
I was asked to take a look at the finished product
today, as there were several problems yet to be resolved. So I got
padded up and took a look. Usually, my neighbors ask for my help right
about the time the fire is out of control and there’s no water in the
hose. So why should this be different? Well, first thing I noticed
about the shed, there was a silhouette of a face embedded in the sheet
of siding, and a piece of tooth. The roof was dented in several places
where impact with various skulls took place, all marked by tufts of
hair and clots of blood torn out by unfinished metal seams.
The doorway is too close to the neighbors fence to open the doors, so
who needs em? Why bother? Since its sheet metal and aluminum framed,
its not the most sturdy item around. It has been realized that it
needs to be moved. And the gutter for the house is in the way. But
they cannot put up a ladder to move the gutter because the shed is in
the way. They cannot move the shed because of the stakes in the
ground-don’t ask. Really, don’t ask. No more sun or fresh air for
part of the basement, the window is blocked. That silly dish TV thing
had to be turned. Opps, shoulda called the network. I think I saw an
eyebrow left behind inside the shed by the door. The snow blower can’t
get past the fence to make it inside the shed, so that stays in the
garage with the lawnmower, which is why the shed was built, to get them
out of the garage. And I don’t think anyone but the victim noticed
that a finger nail had taken the place of a washer holding a screw in
place. And, the shoes are still glued to the stairs. My bet is the
first good lightning storm blows it up and melts the contents. NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE DECIDE ITS OVER!
OK, I'll help. I went across the street to supply some solutions, lend tools, apply first aid and take pictures!. First was a ladder that could reach that annoying downspout. Once removed the shed can now be moved. I hand the tools to the middle aged craftsmen in the group. He climbs 4 steps on the ladder, gets vertigo, and hits the deck stage right like a flounder out of water. Now I find myself on the ladder(what a surprise) trying to fit the parts that they bought to move the downspout. I could not get them to fit. Finally I asked "Did you measure this?". The response I got was "Measure What?. Nice. I responded " Do you realize you have asked a chef to show you how to re-route a gutter and downspout? Do you know that you have violated every GUY rule in the book.? When I come down the ladder, I have to repossess your testicles and turn them in to the proper agency! Now while I am on the ladder the youngest has a cell phone glued to one ear while watching the street that has no moving cars or people. Problem is he should be holding the ladder I am on. So, I extend my arm, holding a hammer in my hand, over his head and announce to him. "You have 5 seconds to hang up or I drop the hammer when I hit zero" and immediately began counting. It was amazing how fast that phone disappeared. In retrospect I should not have told them the best way to remove the shoes was to set fire to them. The fire department wasn't happy when old man Bensonhurst called them screaming it was the terrorists come to get him. Pity I failed to notice the stairs were sloped down. Now there is three stairs with shoe puddles instead of one with glued shoe. Where is Al Bundy when he is really needed?____________________________________________________________________________________________________
TPH SYNDROME - IT MUST BE ERADICATED!
Hi.
This is a general service public announcement. For years in the food
service industry, a quiet, humiliating malady has plagued our
profession as chefs. I am speaking of TPH Syndrome. Also known as
TALL PAPER HAT Syndrome. Also known as Tall Paper Hat Attitude, it
plagues thousands of wanna be chefs. It affects the accomplished
professional as well. Its a misplaced belief that wearing a paper hat
inspires respect. STOP IT NOW! ITS 2009! My God what's wrong with
you people wearing a paper hat? Have you no clue how stupid this
looks? Have you no clue how the general public laughs at this silly
practice? Have you no clue that even McDonalds abandoned the practice
of their staff wearing paper hats well over 15 years ago? How
confident would it make you to see our generals wearing paper hats?
How about seeing your surgeon wearing a paper clown hat before he opens
you up? Would that make your day? Inspires your affirmation in the
individuals skills does it?
A taller hat does not make you
important. Maybe IMPOTENT, but not important. Its your actions, not
that origami project gone wrong resting on your head. If you live in
the States, show some Americana pride. Get a baseball cap. Remember
this-the Kepi was the first version of a baseball cap, worn by both
sides during the Civil War. In between battles both sides played a new sport sweeping the nation called BASEBALL in their camps while wearing their KEPI Hats. Save the ignorant remarks for anyone other
than the hallowed dead. Nothing more American than that except maybe a
Harley bandanna. Tall paper hats are a long needed to be done with
tradition from French kitchens of literally centuries ago. The taller
the hat, the higher the rank. Gee, go figure a FRENCH MAN thought of
this. Does penis envy ring a bell? Anyone, that has actually had the
misfortune of wearing those stupid hats knows they fall off when you
bend over. They get knocked off by cooler doorways, thermal curtains,
over hanging hood vents and smart ass chefs like myself. I can't burn
enough of these hats. They are a joke. they always have been.
Defending their use is the same as being a brain washed drone. At
least show some style and wear a floppy chef's hat, its cool. Paper
hats? No better reason to save a tree in my electronic book. Also, if you are
wearing a paper hat, and fold it so its creased in the front and back.
You really have issues. Its not aerodynamic! Yes it is a fashion
statement. It SCREAMS you need to be dressed by your wife/ or mother
before leaving the house. Nothing says clueless more clearly than
wearing a paper hat and thinking its cool or professional. NAME
another profession that wears a paper hat to show rank, status,
accomplishment or even respect. I'm waiting! The pirate hats at the
dollar store are better quality that these monuments to arrogance. Am
I going too fast? EVEN Al Bundy does not wear a paper hat! Nothing
says professional more than when a chef or cook puts that sweat soaked
filthy hat on his cutting board or work counter. Yep, very polished.
EVEN
South Siders from Chicago think its stupid. We know how they dress. I
do, I'm a South Sider by birth & heritage. We need to retrain chefs
across the country to rebel against this ridiculous practice of
garnishing their heads with a hollow roll of paper towels. We need a
grass roots movement in the culinary schools. The old guard need their
heads flushed with consomme, or their shoes filled with sour cream. The next generation needs to think for
themselves and trash this stupid head gear. Now, if you think I am
disrespecting my profession by this rant, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
I am tired of us Chefs being disrespected by social - professional- peer
pressure misleading us into thinking that wearing these sweat soakers
is cool, visually appealing or anything else using a positive
adjective. If you want to be that true to history, get a floppy hat
and starch it. Then, at least you are true to the heritage of the
hat. You will still look like a dope, but so does anyone wearing
liderhosen. So who can throw stones at that point? Wait a minute, I
CAN! And those tall hats make a great target. I have an accurate,
well oiled arm, and am equally deadly with tomatoes or a Frisbee. So
remember, if you are wearing a tall paper hat, and you hear an impact
and it goes sailing across the kitchen onto the grill weighed down by a
russet potato, and hear "Get married
so someone can dress you before you leave the house you numbnutz!" it may be me or one of my newly sworn in cooking commandos.
So,
learned behavior comes from repetition. I say, lets begin with the
closet paper hat to you, and working your way out from there. Burn,
fry, soak, shred and otherwise demolish every last one on the planet.
Always remove the chef's head first. Usually the chef's head is very
hard and can cause collateral damage. If you need a reason to believe a chef's
head is hard, give my wife a call. She has a list ready for you:) |
